When I’m at work I always rush right home for lunch
So I can check out what’s up on The Brady Bunch
And when I’m walking through the front door at night
I gotta see who’s winning on The Price is Right

I never dreamed that I’d spend my days
Staring at some tube emitting cathode rays
I need my TV

What’s happening in this world I don’t care at all
But it better not pre-empt Monday Night Football
I can’t even come up with my own views
I’m taught how to think from the evening news

(Sing a bunch of faggy la’s out of tune here)