(Deck the halls with boughs of holly
Fa la la la la, la la la la
'Tis the season to be jolly
Fa la la la la, la la la la)
Outside the carolers start to sing
I can't describe the joy they bring
Cause joy is something they don't bring me
My girlfriend is by my side
From the roof are hanging sickles of ice
Their whiny voices get irritating
It's Christmas time again
So I stand with a dead smile on my face
Wondering how much of my time they'll waste
Oh God, I hate these Satan's helpers
And then I guess I must have snapped
Because I grabbed the baseball bat
And made them all run for shelter
It's Christmas time, again
It's time to be nice to the people you can't stand, all year
I'm growing tired of all this Christmas cheer
You people scare me
Please stay away from my home
If you don't want to get beat down
Just leave the presents and then leave me alone
Well, I guess it's not cool to freak on Christmas Eve
Cause the cops came and arrested me
They had an unfair advantage
And even though the jail didn't have a tree
Christmas came a night early
Cause a guy named Bubba unwrapped my package
It's Christmas time, again
It's time to be nice to the people you can't stand, all year
I'm growing tired of all this Christmas cheer
You people scare me
Please stay away from my home
If you don't want to get beat down
Just leave the presents and then leave me alone
I won't be home, I won't be home for Christmas
(Please post my bail)